you said I know that this will hurt

If you're pretty active on facebook & twitter, you've probably heard of Layla Grace. If you haven't, click the link and read about her amazing story.

I've come across quite a few blogs of families dealing with childhood illness/death. Of course each one wrecks my heart but this one...this one hurts more than the rest. I don't know if it's because we're basically "watching" Layla die. I don't know if it's because I look at her pictures and I see facial expressions that mimic my own kids. All I know is I can't sing worship songs now without crying. I get sick when I read her updates-but I have to know if she made it through another day. And I can't stop praying for God to heal her.

I don't know why she's dealing with this or why she's suffering. I don't know why over 50,000+ people are praying that she be healed-and it's looking like she's going to die soon. I don't have answers to that.

But I know that God has not once stepped away from this. I know that it's not what He wants for her or her family-but He's carrying them through it. I know that He is more than able to heal her in this life. But for reasons unknown to us, He may not. And it doesn't mean He's failed. It doesn't mean He wasn't strong enough to heal her or that He's cruel. When she dies, she will be healed. What I'm learning from this is that death is not losing. God will take away this disease, just like we asked. But it may not be in the way that we want.

I have to remember that God sees the bigger picture when I don't. He understands. He knows how everything fits together and how one thing affects another. And He can take something as horrible as a two year old little girl dying from cancer-and make it beautiful. If you read through the comments on her facebook or her website, you'll see comment after comment of people who have had their relationship with God strengthened or have started praying again or have even come to know Christ in the first place. People are donating money to cancer research and awareness about Neuroblastoma is getting out. Later on down the road, Layla's story may be the catalyst for a mandatory test for Neuroblastoma, one that could save thousands of children.

All because of a 2 year old girl. And a very great God.